My Exercise In Futility

Yesterday, the new roommate introduced me to the website, mint.com. I spent twenty minutes on this website and I have decided that it’s my new favorite free online money management site. Here are a few of the reasons why:

Quick and Easy Setup - Within 30 minutes, I was able to quickly and easily connect to each and every credit card account, checking account, and (small) investment account I own. Connecting to one of your accounts is as simple as finding the bank that manages your money, providing your username and password (and the answers to any additional security questions your financial institution may ask for), and allowing Mint to take care of the rest.

When using other financial management softwares such as Quicken or Money, I usually find there’s some investment account that I can’t connect to or a store credit card that I can’t electronically access via the software - or there’s that Discover card that I have that is really funded by HSBC. I was still able to connect to that account by using Mint’s search capability and searching for the website URL for that account vice the bank name. Mint boasts that it has connectivity to over 50,000 financial institutions. I don’t know if that’s true, but they had access to every account I own.

As my first account was initializing, the site allowed me to continue to setup my additional checking, credit, an investment accounts. As I entered information for each account, I was able to watch as each financial institution connected, authorized, and allowed Mint to download transaction history. A progress meter in the top right hand corner of the page displayed the overall progress Mint was making for the accounts I was setting up. Once you stop adding accounts, you will eventually see this meter reach 100%. This means Mint has connected to all of your accounts successfully and has finished downloading transaction history for you.

Quick Analysis - The most useful and most beneficial feature of this website is how it automatically categorizes your transaction data and displays trend information about your spending habits. Do you really know how much you spend at Starbucks on a monthly basis? What are you spending on utilities? What about ATM fees or groceries? Were those all within budget?

This site graphically shows you where your money is going every month so you can determine where you might try and cut monthly spending. After viewing a couple of graphs, I ran out and bought a five pound bag of coffee and a large bottle of french vanilla creamer. Hopefully that will stifle my Starbucks spending that exceeded $200 in October.

Helps You Save Money - After analyzing various information about your accounts such as their interest rates or the APR of your credit card accounts and loans, the site will actually find ways to help you save money. Maybe you can save money on finance charges by switching to a credit card with a lower interest rate? Maybe that high balance you have in your savings account could return a higher yield with a different bank? The website has a lot of different ideas for you.

SMS / E-Mail Alerts - After you’ve reviewed some of the analysis, you might begin to use the site’s budget feature and setup spending limits for different categories; maybe you like to keep track of large transactions against your credit card or your checking account. This site allows you to customize alerts that you can receive via e-mail and / or SMS text message. Imagine how much more aware of your spending you might be if you knew you were already over budget for ‘dining out’ expenses this month. Wouldn’t it be nice to know when that $2,200 check you deposited to your checking account actually clears and is available for spending? That’s the beauty of this site - customize the alerts on individual accounts or spending categories to fit your needs.

Although this site doesn’t allow you to enter your own transactions as to track your ‘real balance’ like you might with Quicken or with Money, it provides crucial data letting you know where the money is going. It helps you see how you might be able to save a little more each month, or how to pay your debt off a little faster. I would highly recommend this site specifically to anyone who is learning how to create a budget for the first time - after all, knowing where the money is going is half the battle.

Normalization is a technique that database administrators use to organize their data into tables. Normalization may have the affect of duplicating data, but it does not introduce redundancy. Ultimately, the end result of normalization is a map that shows you what objects belong in a database, their relationships, and the tables required and the columns needed in those tables.

I think that my new roommate and I are still in the normalization stage. An effect of our cohabitation, we have duplicated some household items. We have two sets of soaps and shampoos to use in the shower, two different personal care products lined up in the bathroom, and two sets of…. well, everything. But, just as database normalization suggests, these are not redundant systems. They are multiple systems serving two people who dwell in the same apartment.

As with database normalization, I believe we have discovered objects that don’t belong in the apartment with us. Whether we’ve got rid of old furniture that just won’t fit and the fact that we seem to have found a place for everything, and everything is in it’s place - we’ve normalized a bit.

Finally, we’re starting to get all the ‘tables’ in place. Which of us does the dishes or the cooking Monday and Tuesday? Who takes out the trash and the recyclables on Thursday? Where are the best take out spots? Where should we get the laundry done? When should we go grocery shopping? Where should we go grocery shopping? (New York normalization opens up a whole new set of data fields to take care of.)

I know, it’s weird for me to describe to you that my new roommate and I are starting to get along just fine, and that we are starting to establish some routine and stability within the house. I guess I could have just come out and said it that way - but that wouldn’t have been as fun as comparing us both to a bunch of database objects.

I have wrote about a few of my pet peeves in the past, I’m sure. I’m not one to keep my trap shut. But I wasn’t feeling well today. As we can all attest, things never seem to go our way when we are sick or don’t quite feel right. It’s as if Murphy also wrote a rule of General Health - that which can go wrong will, and that which can go wrong while you are sick will not only go wrong, but dance on the last nerve of mental stability you have left in your weakened state.

Being the Type A personality that I am, I don’t deal with being sick well. I still have shit to do, and being sick takes up too much time. Today, while trying to get from point A to point B and having to deal with the idiots inbetween, I feel that my list of pet peeves either got longer today, or I was just more aware of the ones I already had. For instance:

• Why do people engage in phone conversations while they are in the restroom? On the list of Taboo Places for Cell Phone Use, this one should be at the top of everyone’s list. Never mind the fact that you are either standing with your cock out at a urinal or squatting on a toilet with your pants down, aren’t you aware of the other bodily noises that are going on around you? All the grunting, squirting, and splashing noises should clearly tip off whomever you are on the phone with that you just took their call in the bathroom. And even if you, the call taker, are not embarrassed by your surroundings, could you possibly practice a little electronic restraint for the rest of us for just five more minutes until you exit the restroom?

• Why do people ‘hold’ the elevator door as if it were an actual door that swings open and closed for other people that are right behind them? It’s 2008 folks! The door works on a sensor. It’s better for you to actually walk through the threshold, thereby guaranteeing that you have tripped the sensor that keeps the doors open vice placing your hand over a spot on the threshold hoping it might be blocking the sensor. Regardless, as rude as New York City may be perceived, I have never seen such an eager elevator as to slam shut on a patron that had advanced into the threshold of an elevator door.

• Why is it that whenever one is in a hurry in New York City, they somehow end up behind somebody that has managed to monopolize the entire sidewalk? For some reason or another you are unable to pass to the left - maybe it’s because there is oncoming pedestrian traffic on that side, or that half of the sidewalk is taped off. So you figure you should be able to pass to the right, correct? Just as you go to make your move, the little fucker starts to drift - like a drunk driver, swaying from left to right, blocking any chances you have to overpass. Bastards. Move for fuck’s sake!

• There are a few regions of your body that should not be scratched in public, this is something we are taught as small children. But, occasionally, the urge does arise, and it’s necessary to scratch one of those unmentionable spots. Usually, this is done quickly and hopefully discreetly as to not alert onlookers. So why is it when you’re sick and carrying heavy objects that require both your hands to do so that your mind decides to fuck with you and make the crack of your ass itch, or that spot right at the top of your nose itch. Funnier yet is that it usually is the ass crack first, and then the tip of your nose. Now you either have to stop or become a one man juggling act, somehow balancing those heavy objects in just one sick arm while you now draw attention to the fact that you are scratching your ass and your nose. Or, did everyone just see you scratch your ass crack and then sniff it? Another one of Murphy’s cruel, cruel mind fucks.

• Why is it, after all of these pet peeves have picked away at you, and when you think you are finally done for the day, that one person you hesitate to answer the phone for because you cannot predict which side of the bipolar coin came up today feels that it is the perfect time to call, and call, and call until you pick up. What’s worse is that Murphy’s Law of General Health is still in effect and it’s always the bad bipolar side of Two Face that we’re dealing with today. Fuck you, Murphy!

• Finally, why is it that I can be surrounded by a group of people that are not wearing headsets, not singing along with their iPods, and not walking as if they were just about to break into a sprint, yet the old, hunched-back beggar on the street, with his frail little features and his walker, picks me out of the crowd to stop and tell his sad story to. In New York City, remember that the sad story always ends with, “And I only need $10 to get to my destination…” It took him forever to tell me of his cancer, how he just got out of chemo, etc. As run down as I was, I actually just wanted the little fucker to get through his 2 minute story and get to the part where he actually asked for the money.  In my weakened state, I of course played the good little sucker and pulled $6 from my wallet and gave it to the old man with the walker who now had tears streaming down his face because I opened my wallet for him. Get in the fucking cab already and make sure you use the money for cab fare and nothing else!

Hell, who knows. Maybe the guy I gave the money to actually got in a cab. Maybe, through some sort of Murphy’s Trickle Down Effect, I saved someone else by giving that man cab fare. In a cab, he could no longer be the pedestrian in the street that couldn’t be passed. Who knows?

Is this day over yet, or will I face even more pet peeves before I hit the sack?